Coping with Infertility During the Holidays
Managing infertility is challenging, but during the holiday season it can feel as though the challenges are on another level. Whether it’s increased time with loved ones who are well-intentioned but can feel interrogative about your conception journey, or the focus on children (and the constant sharing of that on social media) during the holiday season. Regardless of what the stressor is, the holiday season can be especially painful for those who are childless and trying to conceive.
Given this, it’s especially important to give yourself permission to engage in some extra self care and stress management during this time. While these tips don’t erase the pain of infertility they may ease some of the distress and allow you to get through this season with a bit more hope and gratitude. Here are some strategies to try out:
Be mindful and intentional about what you say yes too. This is a reminder that you are not obligated to say yes to or attend an event or party that puts you in a position where you will feel uncomfortable or know that it will likely exacerbate existing painful emotions associated with your family-building journey.
Spend time prioritizing yourself (and if you have one, your partner). This might mean taking a small trip together somewhere or engaging in hobbies or activities that you find meaningful. Find a way to celebrate your love for each other and your family, even if it doesn’t yet feel complete.
Identify how you plan to respond to insensitive and intrusive questions from others. Unfortunately, no matter how well-intentioned some people are, their questions about your decision to have children and the process of conceiving can feel overwhelming, inappropriate, and in many cases, unattuned. It can be helpful to strategize and even rehearse how you might respond to the various inquiries you get about having a child.
Find a safe(r) place or person who you can share with and confide in both the joyful and difficult moments along your fertility journey. Whether it’s your partner, a close friend, or therapist, make space and time to seek emotional support and express the variety of emotions that you’re experiencing during this season of life.
Give back to your community. When we experience something painful we’re often focused on our internal experiences- thoughts, emotions, beliefs, physical sensations. Engaging in something bigger than ourselves (as corny as it sounds) can actually be a helpful way to distance ourselves from our own emotional pain while also experiencing a sense of meaning and purpose.
Wishing you all love and light during this holiday season.
